


Do Nots

by IShouldBeWriting



Category: Singularity North
Genre: Cooking And Other Natural Disasters, Destruction of Home Appliances, Gen, Never Let Your Bomb Disposal Expert Cook With Hot Oil, Team Bonding, חֲנֻכָּה | Channukah, סופגניות
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-28
Updated: 2013-04-28
Packaged: 2017-12-09 18:31:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,153
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/776645
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IShouldBeWriting/pseuds/IShouldBeWriting
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Lily’s feeling homesick, everyone should know better than to allow her anywhere near the kitchen.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Do Nots

**Author's Note:**

> As always, this is what happens when Aoife indulges me by playing foil while I let Lily run wild. The crack below is the result. And for the record, you’ve never truly lived till you’ve had [Sufganiyot](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sufganiyah) made by a real Israeli.

The sound of middle-eastern rap music filtered down the hallway of the SSSA, drawing the women in one at a time.

"What are you making, Lil?"

Looking up from where she stood at the cooktop, Lily smiled brightly. "It's almost Hannukah and I was feeling a bit homesick for my grandmother's sufganiyot."

Lighting the burner, she poured an entire bottle of oil into the pot

"Sufi-what?" Diane asked.

Lily's face scrunched for a moment as she fumbled for words they'd recognize. "Jelly Donuts?" She offered.

"Are you sure that's a good idea, Lil?" Questioned Rachel. "Wouldn't the chip pan be a better bet?"

Rachel winced almost imperceptibly. She had a horrible feeling about this. 

"The chip pan's too shallow. If they don't get completely covered in oil one side will cook too fast and the filling will ooze out." Looking around Lily wiped a flour covered hand down the side of her shirt. "Oi, Diane, can you keep an eye on the pot while I start making dough?"

"Why me? You don't normally let me anywhere near food?"

"But you'll eat most of them at a guess."

Shaking her head, Freddy stepped into the kitchen. "What do you need a hand with, Lil? I'm no good on my own but I can follow directions."

Looking up at the normally quiet redheaded corporal, Lily smiled her thanks. "I've a jar of the right kind of jam in a box on my bed. None of the stuff here tastes right so Safta sent it to me a few weeks ago. Would you get that and the custard powder packet from the box?"

"Of course. Blue box, right?"

Lily nodded and went back to rooting around in the cupboard for ingredients. As she came up with a handful of items, Rachel slipped an apron over her head.

"You're a mess and you've only just started."

"Never said I was _good_ at cooking. But I've been helping Safta do this most of my life. How hard can it be?"

Everyone else shuddered.

"Lil, what normally happens in the field when you say that?" Rachel asked rhetorically.

Lily's head snapped round, "Oi! I'm not defusing a bomb, it's just a jelly donut. Now are you going to help or not?"

Knowing when she was defeated, Rachel put her hands up. "Ok, ok. What am I doing?"

Lily handed her field partner a rolling pin. "There's dough in the bowl under a towel over there. Spread some flour on the table and roll it out. About half an inch thick should do."

Fumbling the items she had in her hands, Lily walked over to one of the cabinets and fished our a shallow bowl and a couple of spoons. As Freddy returned, she handed them off.

"Think you can follow the directions on the box for the custard?"

"Lil, the instructions are in Hebrew. I know you threatened to teach me, but ..."

Laughing, Lily took the box and looked it over again, face scrunched as she tried to translate. "Pour two cups of milk into a pan, heat it until it steams, then whisk in the powder and keep whisking until it turns thick."

"Anyone seen the bloody whisk?"

From her spot at the counter, Rachel waved vaguely in the direction of one of the drawers. "Was over there the last time I checked."

Bouncing back to the table, Lily handed Rachel a metal ring. "Cut the dough in circles for me? I'll put jam on as you go."

Rachel started cutting but growled something that was probably a swear in Afrikaan when the first few circles stuck to the counter. She rolled the dough back up and tipped far more flour onto the counter, somewhat carelessly. Dust clouded the air, speckling her and Lily both, but neither seemed to care. Some of it crackled in the burner on the stove as well.

Diane edged away from the stove cautiously. "You sure you know what you're doing Lil?"

Spoon stuck in her mouth, Lily waved her off. "It's nowhere near as complex as some of the toys I play with at work."

"Ah ha!" Rachel cried triumphantly, holding up a flour covered circle of dough.

"Marvelous! Only a couple dozen to go." Lily crowed as she snatched the dough from her partner, patted off the extra flour, and plopped it down on the clean side of the table to add a dollop of jam.

"Slave driver!"

"You'll be thanking me when you taste one!" she quipped back, snatching the second circle up and squishing it down on top of the other to sandwich the jelly inside

"Um, Lily, how thick is that custard supposed to be?" Holding up the whisk, Freddy looked over toward her. As she did so, drops of custard sprayed over into the oil in Diane's pot.

"Thicker than that ... keep stirring it?" 

She reached for the box, and barely avoided knocking the one ready donut off the side. Rachel's fast reflexes saved her, as a hand was placed in the way just before the donut slid off.

"Why don't you take this one and fry it up if the oil's ready?" she suggested. "I think I can do the rest."

Swiping a few strands of hair out of her eyes, Lily grinned as she flounced over to the stove. Grabbing a long handled mesh basket, she placed the donut inside.

From beside her, Freddy asked,"Is this thick enough?" picking up the whisk again.

Two giant gobs of custard dropped off straight into the oil, which hissed and sizzled angrily. Startled, Lily let go of the basket with the donut, dropping it straight in. Suddenly oil was spattering everywhere and with a sudden whoosh of heat, the flames from the burner licked up the oil slicked sides of the pot, turning the entire cooktop into an inferno

"Oh Fuck."

"Fuck?" Diane said incredulously. "You’ve lit our kitchen on fire and all you can say is 'oh fuck?"

"I'll save the I told you so for later.” Rachel grated. “Anyone know where the shut off for the gas is?”

Scurrying out of the kitchen, Freddy called back over her shoulder "I'm on it."

Standing beside Diane and Lily at the far side of the kitchen, Rachel watched dispassionately. "The fire extinguisher's not going to do much good. I think you owe the house a new stove, Lil."

"Major Sayer's going to kill me."

"Better him than death by jelly donut?" Diane offered. "We'll bribe Tash to run interference."

The flames beneath the pot died down and the three women watched as the oil continued to burn.

Looking at her soot and flour streaked partner, Rachel laughed put one arm around her shoulders and hugged her with a gentle smile. "I know that Hannukah's supposed to be about the miracle of oil that lasted for eight days. But really, Lily, next time let's just stick to candles."


End file.
